


How do you parent again?

by pahahnope



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/M, Frantic Peter Parker, Gen, Imagine a dumb Peter Parker, MJ has had enough of Peters shit, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker doesn’t know how to parent, Peter Parker is a Dad, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker is confused, Peter Parker is dumb, Peter Parker’s Child, Peter Parker’s lack of common sense, Somehow Peter Parker has a child, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark can’t deal with Peter any longer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22655101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pahahnope/pseuds/pahahnope
Summary: In which Peter Parker and Michelle Jones have a child and Peter is far from relaxed about the situation, luckily his only alive father figure is just on the other end of the phone.OrWhen Peter is so overwhelmed by his child he has to call Tony to cope.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Kudos: 22





	How do you parent again?

**Author's Note:**

> Good-afternoon I will be your host today.
> 
> I was thinking earlier about how chaotic I would be as a parent. Then I realised that Peter would be worse. So here are some scenarios I can 100% see happening.
> 
> Also I’ll try and make everyone have some happiness in but no promises. You know how I get.
> 
> ALSO IMAGINE ENDGAME DIDN'T HAPPEN THANK YOU.

Tony spat his coffee all over the kitchen table earning a grimace from pepper, sure maybe it was just a little bit dramatic but he had never been so shocked in his life. “Is it yours?”

“Mr Stark what do you mean is it mine? She is my wife of 3 years of course it’s mine. Why would I be smiling if it wasn’t mine.” Both men turned around when the Tv was muted to reveal a fifteen year old Morgan acting like she wasn’t listening to their conversation at all.

“M I can see you.”

“I can see you too.” She smirked at Peter and went back to flicking through her phone. Peter just glared at Tony hoping that he would tell his kid off for disrespecting her brother.

“What? She’s exactly like you were, and anyway she’s my kid what do you expect - a polite well-mannered delicate lady. The kids a sassy slob.”

“I can hear you.”

“Great because I was going to take you to get your ears tested, because you can never seem to hear me when I ask you to load the dishwasher.” Just as Morgan was going to make a comeback Pepper walked in with a disappointed look on her face “quit it, both of you. Morgan go clean your room I haven’t seen the carpet in months.”

Once Morgan had left with Pepper following her talking about the importance of having a tidy room, Tony focused his attention back on the matter at hand. “You’re completely certain it’s yours.”

“Yes. Why?”

“I thought you were a virgin.”

“I’m 26!”

“Well you never know, you just seem too innocent.”

“I’ve been going out with MJ for 10 years and been married for 3 of them!”

“Maybe you wanted to keep yourself. I don’t know like I’ve never imagined you drunk.”

“I went to college and you picked me up from nearly 30 parties which I can barely remember.”

“So you’re not a virgin?”

“No oh my god of course not.”

“So you’re really having a kid?” Peter held his head in his hands like the conversation had drained every ounce of life he had left out of him. “Yes and I came here because I’m so scared of doing something wrong I needed to talk to you but all you do is insult me.”

“I never insulted you.”

“You called me a 26 year old virgin.”

“That’s not an insult Peter that is admirable in some cultures.”

“I’ve had enough of you I’m going to talk to Morgan she will be more help than you.” Peter sulked off like a little kid would when they weren’t allowed their favourite toy. Tony paused, how on earth was his kid going to have a kid? Sure the kid was 26 but it only felt like yesterday when Tony walked into his little apartment to meet the bright eyed, babbling, energetic teenager for the first time. 

“Pete wait. I’m just it’s just I’m proud of you kid.” Slowly Peter walked over with a confused look on his face clearly realising the change in mood. 

“You’re proud of me for losing my virginity? I mean thanks but-" It was almost comical how nervous Peter used to be around Tony whereas now it seemed he could talk about anything. Like a son talks to their father.

”No Peter,” Tony’s voice was soft and caring, like how he spoke to calm his kids down when emotions come pouring out. “I’m proud of the person you are. I was scared to let you into my life at the start because you were too innocent and pure for my reputation. I thought I was going to ruin you, but you kept grounded in times people would’ve become completely lost.”

“You’re getting soft in your old age mr stark.” 

“You’re getting cocky in your old age underoos.” Simple nicknames could make both men remember a somewhat easier time, when their biggest worry was fighting the government not bringing another kid into the world.

“You said you were scared.” 

“I’m gonna be a shit dad.” Tony knew what was coming, a classic Peter Parker ramble so Tony waited for some elaboration. “I don’t know how to care for myself let alone a kid. How am I meant to remember all this stuff I need to know, I know nothing. My father figures have all been so varying I’m genuinely confused. It’s like my dad as much as I can’t remember I know he was clever and caring and he wanted me to be the same. Ben was soft and considerate and whenever I was sad he knew exactly what to say. Then you are more relaxed but also really worried all the time and you can calm me down from anything, and you are scary smart and then I see you and Morgan and I don’t think I can ever be like you are with her. And it’s so much pressure because like I am gonna shape a human and what if they hate them self, then it’ll be my fault. What if I die tomorrow and MJ has to go through all this herself, and the kid grows up hating the world because they never knew their dad, and then they become a serial killer and ruin lives and then kills MJ because they have no mercy because their dad died before they were born.”

“Oh kid come here.” Peter stumbled over to Tony’s side and just fell into him tears streaming down his face. “Stop overthinking it all, otherwise it’s gonna be a long nine months, you will be fine okay. If you’re that worried stop spidermanning. But you’ve been doing it for over ten years and you’re not dead yet. And your kid will not become a serial killer because they’ve got your genes, the boy who just wants to save everyone.”

“But I don’t want to die and leave MJ.”

“You’re not gonna die kiddo. Well one day you are. But god forbid you die you know damn well I wouldn’t let MJ go through it alone. She’ll have me, May, Happy, Rhodey, Pepper, Morgan. And when the kid is born that’s their family. But you aren’t gonna die, you hear me?” 

Peter nodded against Tony’s shoulder. “Thanks Mr Stark.”

“No problem Kid.”


End file.
